Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek

Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek

Olivia Munn

Language: English

Pages: 288

ISBN: 0312583761

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Now the star of NBC's Perfect Couples, Olivia Munn's hilarious first collection of essays, Suck It Wonder Woman, offers up such stories like "Thought's About My First Agent's Girlfriend's Vagina," wherein Olivia skewers life in Hollywood. In "Sex: What You Can Do to Help Yourself Have More of It," she frankly gets down to the business of getting it on, including advice on how to appropriately wrap it and bag it. In "What to Do When the Robots Invade (Yes, When!)," Olivia offers valuable information on. . .what to do when the robots invade! This book also includes such handy treasures as a timeline of great moments in Geek history, a flip book, and an unofficial FAQ section. Suck It, Wonder Woman! brings Olivia Munn's incredible wit, and lightning-fast costume changes to a world that needs more scrapbooking, sea monkeys, and a freakin' hoverboard!

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the question itself but at how easily and matter-of-factly he had asked it. “No thank you,” I said. Before we finished lunch, I remembered to look. The ear! How could I be this close to the man and not look at the infamous ear that Mike Tyson had once nibbled upon as if it were meat lasagna and he had a fat mother? So I did. And for those of you who ever wanted to know: yes. Yes, there is a scar on his ear and yes, it looks like someone took a big-ass bite out of it. Now that I think about it,

right? Fine, but pretty sure that idea doesn’t apply to sex. Vaginas are, after all, like snowflakes, only warmer and softer, and bleed like a gaping wound monthly…wait, what was I saying? Oh, right, vaginas are like snowflakes in that each one is different. So that fancy two-finger swirl trick that worked wonders on your last girlfriend? Yeah, no guarantee it’ll work the same way on the new one. Once you have a live, naked girl in your bed, don’t fall back on boudoir tactics you’ve had

And then as quickly as we were told we had to pull the plug, we were in her room, and the doctor shut off the machine. It was so quick. I could barely even think straight. Where was my mother? She’d want to be here for this. What’s going on? Can I hold her hand? Can I ask for a moment to be alone with her before she leaves us forever? Can I just tell her I’m sorry? Can I tell her good night? Please? Please, I just want a second to think. But, before I could let out a word, she was gone. The

hear a thing. Athletes sometimes talk about being in the Zone, when time slows down and they are able to focus on the task at hand with inhuman levels of concentration. Nailing a three-point shot at the buzzer. Tossing a sixty-five-yard strike in the fourth quarter of a tie ball game. Crushing a hanging curve with the bases loaded. When it comes to fleeing cocktail-sauce-stained, half-naked, masturbating Hollywood big shots, I was in the Zone. Before I knew what had happened I was through the

do you stay in such great shape?” My co-host, Kevin Pereira, answered that he works out and eats right. Good answer. And as he was answering I tried to decide what I would say. There’s the classic Hollywood answer: “Oh, I eat whatever I want and it just falls off—I guess it’s just good genes.” Then there’s the real answer. I guess I was just so sick of a lot of these Hollywood role models creating unrealistic body images. Because the answer isn’t just genes. It’s makeup, wardrobe, Spanx,

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